Dear me

Ah, summer is in a full swing right now, and with temperature rising up to 30+ I enjoy every moment of it. Well, I’d like it even more, if I had any vacation days to lazily spend by a lake or something, but since I’m just fresh out of my trial period I have none, so have to make do with the lazily active afternoons after work and weekends. And during lunch break hour, which, quite happily, recently has been just pleasantly sunny and hot with no crash boom bang to scare the sh*t out of me ;)
The other day I’ve rented a city bike and pedaled to the park in search of some cozy spot in a pleasant shadows of some trees, and I’ve found one right next to the Vilnelė river. Ah, memories! I’ve spent so many good time there. But I’m never admitting I’ve done anything illegal as a teen though. Nah, never *lips sealed and cross my heart*
I’ve totally forgotten that the Vilnelė gets this great during summer. I must admit, thoug, that the lush great meadow of a river was very pleasing to the eye. The regular inhabitants did not seem to mind the excess of greenery too.

A nice shady spot under the tree. What could be better on a hot hot day?

the Vilnelė river is as lush green as the grass on it’s banks

and it even has blossoms! just like a real meadow should have :D

Mind, these guys don’t seem to care they’re swimming and fishing in a meadow

and this forget-me-not? first I’ve mistaken it for some water plant – so close to water it grows, and only later I’ve seen my error

a lovely couple of looms. Just love to watch when they start diving

But wait, there’s more. That’s what I’ve found among my change this morning

Haven’t seen this commemorative coin before, so when I’ve first noticed this one among other coins, my first impulse was that I’d been given some foreign currency or something. Just as I’ve thought there were only 1 Litas different commemorative coins, I’ve find out there’s also Kurėnas’ edition. What else did I miss? If I’ve missed anything, I sure must some catching up to do before it’s too late, since January 1st, 2015, we start saying good-bey to our Litas and saying hello to Euros. I’m not set against EU currency like some, but I’ll sure will miss Litas.
And then today a piece of good news came to my e-mail. It started with “Dear Ms., we’re happy to inform you that you’ve been (wait for it) ACCEPTED”! Yay! All I have to do now is to make sure I’ve sufficient funds to pay for the pleasure :) Come autumn, I'm back to school, yay!

Everything is for the best

there’s some light even in the dark of a night

Well, I sure hope that it is. After a give or take half a year at home and with no other income but unemployment allowance and some of my own saving, I’m more than eager to do anything, but get the hell out of here and actually do something. On the plus side, this long vacation was a useful break after almost 3 years of work work work with only few get-aways for a day or two at the most. On the downside, I’m never comfortable with watching my savings just melt away… Anyway, so far this break was mostly positive, so I’ll just try to keep it that way. So let’s just look for all the positive outcomes of this situation:
* I am full of energy, well rested, and ready to move mountains (though hopefully I don’t have to  or I might end up with some nations angry with me if I move their Alps)
* If all works out as planned, this is going to be my last week at home (a cautious hurray goes here and fingers crossed)
* I’m finally out of the ‘cage’.
What ‘cage’? The ‘cage’ of my own in-box thinking. Since for a couple of years I’ve been thinking about going back to school for my masters degree, and since I wanted to get this degree in a totally different field than my BA, that meant I needed to take some additional courses and only then would be eligible to apply. Problem was that I’d have had to pay both for the courses and for the masters studies. And money is always an issue for me – I’m never easy with parting with greater sums, and I’m even less attracted to the thought of taking a loan. So there you have it – a wish to go back to school and insufficient funds of my own to get me through 3 years at school. Well, after a couple of months at home, with much time spent outdoors and with somehow a much clearer head and brighter perspective, I had this eureka moment – why was I so fixated on getting the masters? I could achieve the very same goal and at much much lesser costs by starting over and getting my BAcc or BAE at college level instead of masters in the same field at pricey university. And so the plan has been hatched: step 1 – get a job, step 2 – back to school.
Making these plans public is like making a promise so I’d not back out at the very last moment. And hopefully principle of men making plans, and gods laughing at them will not be applicable just this once.

Colors of June

Swimming through a meadow

Through out the whole day at the office I was longing for a good ol’ walk, alas rain which started at lunch did not want to give up. While a warm cascade of summertime rain might be fun at times, and good rain boots combined with a cheery umbrella might add to the fun, this rain was of a much nastier temperament – cold, slow, and boring to the very bone. Thankfully it stopped at last, and I sprang into action at once. Since my friend who often joins me on such walks decided to pass on this one, I ventured on my own, bravely treading through some sloppy wet ground, hiking some forest paths and hitting a nowadays mostly unused due to some  road constructions tarmac road. Then I came to this meadow…

to be or not to be

On the other side of it there is a stream with a stone crossing. After a moment of hesitation and weighing pros and cons of crossing this lovely yet very VERY wet meadow, I opted to get my legs wet a bit. While where I’ve entered the meadow its grass was low and only came to my ankles, as I went further the grass grew higher and seemingly wetter. To be or not to be, I asked myself, and deciding it could not be any worse I continued soon to find myself almost literary swimming through the wet meadow. I’d say meadow swimming is quite fun, though a little bit warmer dew would’ve made the experience even more pleasant. Anyways, in the end I reach the stream, only to find that its usually shallow waters has risen a bit and some of the stones in the crossing are now under water. Plunging into a stream murky with all this excess rain water wasn’t very tempting, but it was either two steps of faith or going back the way I came. Uh-huh, one swim through the meadow is quite a limit for a day. So ahead I went into the stream.

one can usually cross the stream with dry feet. Not this time

Wet feet and clingy wet capri pants aren’t the most pleasant pf experience on a day with temperatures only as high as 17 C, but a good adventure and a gulp of some fresh air after a tiresome day at work was so refreshing :)

wet yet almost shinny clean toes :D

Taking care not to step on any of the many snails which crawl from some hidey holes after each rain I proceeded homeward bound.

Through the forest once more lay my path

 On my way I noticed this rather strange painting on a pine’s trunk:

Aliens go this way.
I hope humans are also allowed to take this road. Anyway at least I did

Do I look like an alien? I sure hope I do C: Otherwise what's the point in taking an upside down pic ;)

 I used to live on the edge of the forest. Still do, only nowadays the forest has shrunk a bit and its edge had to give way for a new road.

And finally a home stretch – a road to be

Summer time

Since on last Saturday summer has officially started, I could not waste a minute of the perfect weather and opened my swimming season. Ah, good thing that so close to my home there is a lake which I can be easily reached by foot or – if I want to get there faster – by bicycle.

just some 10 minutes of pedaling and there it is…

2 kilometers are like nothing when I’m driven by the desire to plunge into water And since the swimming season is open, why limit myself to sunny days only? Any day is a swimming day unless it’s really too cold for that.

almost some sort of a personal heaven on Earth – green and soft grass, water, and a pleasant company of two ‘guys’

Also the company on those not so sunny and not so hot days are so much better and so much quieter too

That’s what I call good company, when I’m up to enjoy some solitude Their swimming costumes are also were dashing and catching the eye

On the more serious note, I’ve switched jobs like a month ago. Since the job offer was like grab it or loose it, but in either way I’d loose by then my current job, I took my chances and plunged deep into new water. What can I say? I’m starting to dot some ‘eyes’ already, I can state that I’ve forgotten that some companies could be such… joy killers. If I cannot find at least something to enjoy in this new company, then I’ll be back to looking for something else.
Like a neighborhood where my new office is located, there is something fishy about this new company. Can’t yet put a finger on it, neither can I tell if I really can’t find anything to like about this new job, but for a while I’m still about to give it a fair shot.

One of the ugliest of new neighborhoods in Vilnius. Built on a former landfill, with buildings rising up to 12 story high – as if it’s NY or something, and with building so close to each other that some balconies come so close to each other that it seems one neighbor could climb balconies to visit another in the opposing building. Concrete jungle which leaves me rather depressed and sorry for every one living there

Small wonders

This winter so far was like a ride on some swings – either it is freezing like hell, either it is all rainy/slushy/murky weather outside. After a couple of weeks of cold treatment, the last week was one of them mild ones, so by the weekend snow everywhere was either gone, or all gone black and yucky, so waking up on Sunday morning to a white winter fairy tale was a real eye candy. All the trees were covered in white robes, and the fresh snow on the ground was just this perfect type for making some good ol’ snowmen. I went for my usual weekend stroll to a nearby forest (I was feeling too much preoccupied with capturing all this beauty around me to call that a jogging session), and just as I was about to wrap it up I could not help myself and just had to built one of them myself. This is just the kind of winter I love, but I already wish for spring to come faster, and as birds in the forest sing more and more with everyday I take in this snowy perfection as just one last stretch on a way to a blossoming spring.

And we go down

So the stalling period is over now, and we are all literary setting sails to… well, someplace, some other future.

After like more than month of hesitation our new sole shareholder finally showed up and we got to meet his new appointed Managing Director the other week. Not much use of that, just this change of MDs from good to like the worst IMO. We still do not know what plans are made regarding our company’s future as our new MD and neither shareholder are willing to share them, like we’re just considered irrelevant and some sort of nuisance. Might be that both guesses are right.
After a year long period of being under constant change and on sale, throughout this times we’ve managed to keep all of our tightly knit team intact . More so, even blue collar workers stayed all but few, though high turnover among blue collar workers is almost a canon in our field of business. But who cares about that? So now for a week already we’ve been ‘enjoying’ the company of our new MD, and what can i tell? Change, and selling process, and uncertainty hasn’t killed us up to this day, but this man is going to. If his goals are to make people leave, so that the new owners could cut cost on compensation, etc., he’s gonna get it. He asks a question, you answer in full detail. then like five secs later same question again and again and again. It’s simply impossible even to try to regard him as something else than a joke thrust upon us. Yes, you might think it’s understandable that he does not know the business yet, and in normal situation I would agree. But he at least SHOULD try to learn it, and ask all the important business related question, instead of the ones regarding who has what model of company’s mobile phone. Hello, the last time we’ve got new phones for employees was like 2 years ago and they did not cost us a dime, but were given free to us by our mobile service provider. And that is just the top of an iceberg. The best part is that he does not make any decision of his own. If there’s a problem, he ask for opinion from our responsible team member, then goes out of the office for ‘some tea’ to consult with some secret puppeteer of this freakish show and then comes back with mostly incomprehensible decision made. ‘Our clients must be served,’ he says, but how, if all these decisions already make an impact on our capability to serve them in the first place, I ask.
It took just a week, but I’ve already started looking for a new job, and so does every single one on our team. A dog barks, caravan goes, and this ship is sinking fast. Shit happens, but this time it also hit a fan. If work was about feeling good about what I do, now it’s more of ‘Isn’t it 5 P.M. yet?’ kind.

Pro tempore

Learning curve. There are some books I can read and re-read over and over again, and even though it seems I know every twist of plot by heart I each time find something new in them. There are also some books I've read once, enjoyed them at the time, but most probably will never pick them up again. And there are also books, which have to be read in their due time, that is there are some books you start reading and put them down unfinished and never go back to reading them again; yet some I put down the first time round, only to pick them up and read them some time later, discovering that a book which at first seemed to be all wrong/boring/not my kind of book now IS. Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde could be a good example of books I once thought were of god damn awful sort, but now have a blast of a time reading them. It's like some things click with you just from the very beginning and stay with you for longer or shorter period, and some must grow right, or you must grow right to enjoy them.

New Year in... 3, 2, 1

2012 is almost over, and looking back, I'd say that was the most challenging, trying, and mind screwing year so far. Hopefully 2013 will be at least a tad bit easier, and will give me some breaks I rather need.
Sometime ago either on-line, either in some magazine I've read this article on sleeping positions, and what they tell about you. Up until then I haven't had trouble at falling asleep, and I used to go out like almost the very moment my head'd hit a pillow to wake up to morning alarm in almost identical position and on the very same spot of my bed. Since I've read that article - or maybe that's just a coincidence - I have trouble getting comfortable, like the bed suddenly became hard or all possible sleeping positions uncomfortable, etc. Ah, if all was just about finding a new position or 'good' spot.
One year ago, right before Christmas 2011, we were told that our company is going to be sold. Now one year later we find ourselves sold for the second time in one year, and with things going downhill so fast it's really scary. 2012 was supposed to be the Year The World Ended. And in a way it did. Only on a much much lesser scale.
Same on personal side - all the ups of this year turned out to be the biggest falls and disappointments, so that finding inner poise was mission impossible. Starting with things which broke down out of the blue, ending with some relationships which burned to cinder in one go, I say 2012 was a truly nightmarish year, and as the year changes will gladly way it farewell, hoping the future is going to be brighter. If not... well, I might then buy some bright dyes and brighten it up all by myself ;)

First glimpse of winter

First snow. Just last Friday we've had enjoyed barbecue, and this Friday we have the first snow already. The contrast of bright yellow and white is overwhelming as is the understanding that winter is just around the corner.
Note to myself - Time to change car tires, and prepare for the winter. Every snowy morning means extra five or even more minutes to get ready to go to work, and white brushing off some snow is like nothing, scratching ice from car windows sucks.
Brightening the day. Trying to find as much joy as possible, though mostly the atmosphere at work heavily resembles the one in some funeral. If I see something nice and beautiful I point it out. Paying compliments pays back it lifts the heavy mood off, and brings some smiles on.

Survival of the Fittest?

David and Goliath. The other day I've witnessed a fly get caught in a spider web. The fly was a fat one, and just as her legs got stuck on the web, she started to buzz angrily and fight hard to get away. Meanwhile, a tiny spider ran to the fly in anticipation of a big feast. But as the fly beat her wings and tried to wiggle away with all the force she had, spider would withdraw as if blown away by those attempts, then would try again and again to close on his pray. It rather reminded me of that biblical story of David and Goliath for some reason, though I really could not tell, who was who in this survival race.
The other time I went past that web, it was clear who've won the battle. Victor was nowhere in sight, but his feast leftovers were more than enough to tell the whole story.
In a way i find myself in a rather similar situation like that very fly - caught in a sticky spider web, and valiantly trying to getaway sound and free, only I cannot see the mastermind of that web, so cannot know if my attempts could get me anywhere or just worsen the predicament. One way or another it all will end soon. We're promised that at least.

Like A...

 

...Rocky. Remember that old feature film 'Rocky' with Silvester Stallone? There is a scene in that movie, where Rocky victoriously runs up the many stairs and jumps a joy holding his arms up. Well, I've been jogging almost daily for a couple of past years, and once in a while I attempt to run up this one very steep hill non-stop. Uh-huh. So far not once I've managed to do that. Some way just past half of the ascend I run out of steam and just have to stop to catch my breath back or even to stop. But who knows maybe my jump a joy is just around a corner, and like Rocky one day I'll be all smiles on top of that damn hill :)