Karate Kid

I’ve been invited to a picnic on Saturday afternoon, so I happily packed my picnic kit – some wine, some snacks and a blanket to sit on – and off I went to enjoy a good time. After a short hike down the slope, we chose a nice and pleasantly shady spot near the river for our picnic, and started enjoying ourselves. Wine and food combined helped a lot :)
Our picnic was well on its way, when this man on a bicycle sped past us and settled a short distance from us on a sandy part of the river side. Since it was a public place, we did not pay the guy much of an attention at first. But it all changed in a few minutes.
Girl friend. ‘Look! Look! D’ya see what HE is DOING?!’
We all turned to look and OMG I could literary feel my jaw fall –  there’s this guy doing all crazy stuff. He was rolling in the sand like a seal at first, then he probably tried to swim on it, then he jumped up and started kicking and punching the air karate, thai chi and whatever else style. We just kept on watching unable to turn away for a while.
Girl friend. ‘Is he drunk, or what?’
Girl friend 2. ‘I’d bet he’s high.’
Me. ‘That is crazy. Who could’ve thought we’d get this sort of entertainment in a place like this.’
Girl friend 2. ‘Yah, that’s entertainment, but I sure hope he does not come any closer to us.’
Male friend. ‘I bet he’s doing all of this to impress you.’
Us. ‘Who? what?’
Male friend. ‘Well, there are three of you, and I’m your only male companion, so he’s just showing off.’
We laughed at this notion in unison. The thought that some one might think THIS sort of showing off might impress anyone in his/her right mind, was just so ludicrous. Then we got tired of watching the ‘show’ and stopped paying much of an attention to him, but an occasional glance towards him to check what else he might’ve come up with. This lasted for an hour at the very least, and the guy just kind of became part of the scenery, though, I admit, quite an eerily one. Then our male friend exclaimed in a hushed tones, ‘Hey, I was right! He’s coming over to us.’
Dang it. None of us wanted to deal with drunk, high or simply crazy person, but there was no way to escape that, so we kind of braced for the worst, and our male friend shifted his position just in case he needed to defend any of us girls. Sure enough, the first impression of the karate guy up close wasn’t any better than that of from a distance. He came to us holding a fist sized rock in his outstretched arm, and for a short moment I really thought that he is going to be all violent. By the looks on the faces of my girl friends, it was obvious they were readying to flee. Luckily, the guy turned out to be non-violent.
Karate kid. ‘See what I’ve got here? It’s a granite!’
Male friend. ‘Yup. It’s a nice piece of granite.’
I don’t remember much of the conversation that followed, since I was still ready to jump at run at the time, and I surely did not want to encourage the guy to stay any longer with asking any questions or joining in in the conversation between to men. My lady friends shared frame of mind entirely. Probably since only our male friend deigned to talk to him, the guy soon ran dry with what to say, and ten minutes (or like eternity) later finally departed, letting us girls let out a breath we’re holding.
Male friend. ‘See I was 100 percent right. He DID want to impress you!’
We laughed at this. Laughed out loud and wholeheartedly. We kept on laughing and giggling unable to stop ourselves. Then the guy pedaled passed us with a scornful look on his face and shot a comment at us.
Karate kid. ‘I came over here in hopes of finding meself a girlfriend, but what I get is mocking. I’ve lived in Canada and USA, and THERE I was never laughed at.’
Passed this point I think all of us were rolling on the ground with laughter.
But I must tell ya, this was hellava funny, though totally ineffective pick up technique for sure :D

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